royal wedding ’18

Today all my co-workers recounted the Royal wedding which they woke up super early to watch. Their amazement at the attire, to Markel’s 3D veil with each colonial flower was a level of detail I haven’t exhibited since law school. I wondered what the real topic was: love, fairytales of princes, or inclusion into royalty. Amidst the doting, the message was lost until I came across a picture on Facebook today. I think I got it… I think

Your turn | (SNTLS) #3

It seemed like the reverb of the DJ’s mixing was greeting his feet from the second he threw his keys to the valet.

What the fuck am I ’bout to get myself into, his inner voice questioned.

“Fuck if I know, but we gon’ see, huh?” He didn’t know his earlier comment was said aloud, but he was most definitely thrilled that this beautiful brown-skinned bombshell responded.

“Yea,” was all he had the courage to mutter before she left him to enter the club.

It was in the blue room where he found her again.

“Hey. Can I get you another?”

“Absolutely, Handsome. Thought you would have found me sooner.” she smirked.

“Oh yea?”

“Yea”, seemed like she spun away from the bar, gracefully prancing to the one couch in this part of the club, “been to one of these things before?”

“Naw” he replied, handing her the glass of Jameson on the rocks. “I usually don’t have to come to a place like this to bag a bitch.”

Her eyebrows raised, “Hmmm…is that so?”

He realized that he fucked up, “Yea. I am usually a better behaved nigga. My apologies. This is my first time. I didn’t even catch your name, beautiful…”


(Hey, guys thank you if you made it this far. Please let me know if you enjoyed this short story entry and want the continuation. More GYN content coming soon. Love -MCJ

pt. 2

Nice (but long) post From Ugbaja Greg

# I’m heading to Uzoakoli to do battle
I’m heading to Uzoakoli, but My lover cries out, she didn’t want me dead.
My lover begs me to flee,
But who will defend the land When I flee?
My sweet heart begs me to Flee,
But who will do battle when the Hausas come#

With this song Biafran men marched into battle to defend their fatherland as Northern troops led by British tanks and Russian planes invaded their land to continue the Genocide that they started in the North in 1966.

Every Month of May, we Remember Over 45, 000 innocent people, men, women, children of old Eastern Nigeria , butchered in 1966 all over Northern Nigeria just in 3 months in the first govt supported genocide in Africa.

Many were laid on rail tracks and crushed by train, men buried alive, pregnant women had their bellies ripped open,Children clubbed to death, Innocent souls whose only crime was belonging to a different ethnic group and Faith,

To the 45,000 Innocent souls whose blood was used to irrigate the deserts of Northern Nigeria, although the conspiracy of silence continues by most Nigerians, although no monuments are erected, although no atonement has been made for that unprecedented horror,their Blood continue to cry out against this nation, a nation that pretends it never happened – but we, your kins, forced to bury empty coffins, we your brothers-

The Thousands and thousands unaccounted for- in unmarked graves, from Kano to Maidugiri, to Jos to Markudi, to Zaria, to Kafanchan,to illorin,

Although Nigeria sits on these graves and pretends it didn’t happen but we in whose home steads you left empty spaces-

To the he brave hearts who stood up to the British armoured cars with matchetes

Two Boys who shared a riffle so when one fell the other will pick up his gun to defend his freedom. To the men who went into battle with five rounds each and must only shoot when he was sure to kill. The men who laid down their lives so I may live

My three kinsmen who volunteered in Oguta and Ontisha sectors,brave men Who never returned-still on patrol

To Bruce Mayrock, an American student who set himself on fire, laid down his life to protest against the Genocide by Nigeria against its own people

Artur Alves Pereira and Count Von Rosen of the Biafran airforce who came to Biafra in protest against the state sponsored pogrom

To Wole Soyinka, who stood alone and insisted” the man died” who kept silent in the face of such a pogrom

Tanzania, Ivory Coast, Zambia and Haiti, nations that hoisted our flags against the silence of the world

All members of the Research And Production unit (RAP),
with no outside help YOU demonstrated that the black man can do wonders if only he looks inwards; Home made armoured cars, rockets, beer from cassava, engine oil from coconut, the Biafran Red Devil (Amoured vehicle), the Shore Batteries, the Ogbunigwes. Your ingenuity, your bravely, today-

To our brave mothers , who cooked and sent to their sons in the trenches, knowing it could be their last meal-

The little boys who went “combing” many returned, many did not

The World Council of Churches, The Caritas, The Red Cross who saved millions of children with food aid, despite the blockade,

Millions of our Children who had no milk and died before their time

Ah! Corporal Nwafor, you took in the hail of bullets from the vandals yet continued your final run towards their armoured car with a grenade in your hand, until you successfully threw the grenade into the troublesome vehicle and disabled it before you let your bullet riddled body fall to the ground and your comrades captured the precious armoured car and renamed it “Copral Nwafor”

Col Patrick Achuzie-, General Alexander Madiebo, Gen. Philip Effiong, Col. Onwuatuegwu, Nkonko Ndem and all brave men who stood in the gap

Odumegwu Ojukwu switched from Ball rooms to Bunkers, leaving behind a tremendous wealth to give shelter to a people faced with death, you turned artisans into fighters and scientists, your mission, to build the first black nation with an indigenous technology.

Under the pressure of mortar shells and in less than three years, you demonstrated that the black man can hold his own, but the whites didn’t seem to be comfortable with an indigenous African technology, so UK and USSR suspended their enmity and empowered their Northern stooge to distract you. The Arab League threw its weight behind the North, the rest is history

General Chukwuemeka Odumegwu Ojukwu,Eze igbo gburugburu, oguejiofo..

May justice prevail, may peace reign, may we NEVER find a need to shed blood,May God open the eyes of this Nation to see that like the blood of Abel, the blood of the innocent Easterners shed needlessly in 1966 calls for atonement and until the Nation collectively owns up to it, it can never be free frocm this vicious circle.


trip to gambia

hey guys I’m back with another post:

today I will be reporting and chronicling the adventures in the beautiful country of Gambia. I have a close friend working over there for 2 months and here are here stories.

Night 1: Slept in a scenic hotel that bordered the beach

NIGHT 2: Met yuppies like myself during a birthday dinner from all different international organizations, including the UNDP and EU both of which happened to be black.

Night 3: Went out with my colleagues at the Ministry of Justice at a hip outdoor restaurant and then toured the expat area, SeneGambia, to get a peek of the night life

Night 4: House party/BBQ at another UN officials house, this one was a young Nigerian max 30+ and his house wow… I would’ve taken pics but I didn’t want to seem not so cool.

DAY 5: Went to church with a Nigerian couple, who also had a massive house which I stopped at to eat lunch and watch Moana, the cartoon.

Night 6 till today has been work work work but there’s a concert this Saturday by a Nigerian artist and I’ll take pics if I can get tickets



Since taking office in ’16, President Trump met with his first African leader. And if you’re wondering no mention of the “shit hole countries” comments came up. President Buharu took the high road in the meeting, when accused of wasting over 1 billion dollars of foreign aid. Trump did commend Nigeria as one of the strongest democracies in West Africa. This was the answer when asked if he was in visiting the African power, “Well I would like very much to visit Nigeria,” Trump said. “It is an amazing country. In certain ways, I hear from the standpoint of the beauty of a country — there’s no country more beautiful.”. lastly there was a closed-door meeting between these leaders in discussing the immigration policies for these “shit hole countries”. Trump said that “tough” language was used, “but this was not the language used.” Another rep, Democrat Dick Durbin, was present in the meeting and had a very different recollection of the meeting. Durbin said Trump did use the language. “He said these hate-filled things,” Durbin said. “And he said them repeatedly.”

one side of the coin..

Well, yes, I remembered that there are men in the group, and certainly I’d love to have that perspective. My comment was mean to be simply an observation of my own experiences, with many different men, in different kinds of relationships and interactions. I don’t know that I have a satisfactorily coherent argument currently, so I would want to work on that further, but I feel like women are more likely to and willing to embrace interpersonal conflict, and be committed to difficult work that is required for a particular type of conflict resolution.

“Directly Lying” is something I thought about too. In my experience men have tended to be the ones to tell blatant lies, in order to avoid slightly awkward or uncomfortable interactions. Or stonewalling, or simply changing the subject, or deflecting to not have to answer questions etc. In my experience, I have found women more able to clearly and directly indicate their boundaries or give answers to questions firmly and truthfully.

Not all my interactions with women have been happy or whatever obviously, but even in the less “positive” interactions, I feel like women are more willing to “go there” to really hash things out, to discuss important things even if it’s uncomfortable, whereas I have found that men really try to avoid any type of confrontation at all costs, and to ultimately view confrontation as more “fatal” than I think women would.

As I said, my thoughts aren’t yet properly organized into a satisfactory perspective. However, I wonder if part of it isn’t the way we socialize men. I don’t know that men are socialized to deal with interpersonal conflict in the same way that women are, and I also don’t believe that men are really taught how to live with their feelings and emotions. I definitely have seen the effects of this in my own life and others’ (pretty sure everyone has). You often hear people say that women are more “emotional” than men, etc, often in the same breath as observations that men are more “direct”, etc. Men are super emotional, but the difference is, I believe, whereas women learn how to deal with their emotions, channel them, sit with them, and through such constant work, *not be afraid of them*, men are not taught this, and are actively urged to suffocate their emotions, deny that they exist, minimize them, etc. I think this can lead to fear of their emotions, obviously compounded if you never learn how to deal with the very strong emotions that you do have.

So a situation that necessitates a bit of interpersonal conflict, acknowledgment of one or the other person’s mistakes, etc might be an uncomfortable but necessary confrontation for a women, who has at her disposal all her years of experience of navigating her emotional whitewaterways, and her robust stockpile of tools gathered along the way, but for a man I would assume it might be a very different experience. The thing is though, that maybe something that doesn’t have to be a big deal, or could be mitigated through direct engagement, can become exacerbated when one person can’t see past whatever is convincing them that talking is less important than avoiding the immediacy of comfort. Or that another’s pain is an acceptable price for that comfort.

Which, I don’t know. Assuming this interpretation is correct (more or less, in general), I still don’t think that absolves men (or anyone) of when they do resort to lies, avoidance, etc to minimize their contact with things like accountabilty or whatnot that make them feel less than perfectly happy. I think I read too somewhere that men experience strong emotion differently from women on a physical level, which would obviously introduce another layer into the picture, but again, I still don’t think that should be an excuse to avoid conflict/uncomfortable situations at all, only that we should be able to have an honest, deep conversation about the different things we expect in principled, meaningful, conversation, and the growth that comes from this hard personal work. I still think it’s on each person to stand up straight to their responsibilities and to be willing to engage in confrontation and conflict when it is necessary. But in order to fulfill this, we need to expect such behavior of everyone, and hold everyone to the same standard of integrity, and I don’t think we’re there yet.


The tension was thick, but in a good way | (SNTLS) #2


She looked pissed. He took a deep breathe. He fucked up.

“Hey,” she replied. He didn’t even realize he was holding his breathe, until the sensation of exhaling was being felt.

Walking back to the chair she had just risen from with so much disappointment just a few seconds earlier, he stopped her.

3:12 am.

Eyes locked.

The tension was thick, but in that good way…well at least for the two people in the room this night it felt good.

“So…what happened back there?” eyebrows raised quizzically, she was not going to let him get any further without details.

The rich deepness of his baritone chuckling startled her, but again…in that good way. The way that he intended.

“You don’t wanna know all that. You definitely don’t need to know all that.”

“That right?” she replied, getting more irritable by the word.


She turned. Heels pivoted on the hardwood floor. The only sounds were the sounds they made as they got closer and closer to the door and further from him.

Five hard, powerful steps later, his fullness of his chest had her pressed up against the thick wooden door.

“Stop. Please stay. I’ll tell you, but first you gotta do something for me.”

“Anything,” she replied…

(Hey, guys thank you if you made it this far. Please let me know if you enjoyed this short story entry and want the continuation. More GYN content coming soon. Love -MCJ

He Wasn’t There

She walked in, looked left and then quickly to the right. Nothing.

Turning, actually scanning is a better way to describe what she was doing. “Ah, there.” She sat. Irritated.

Scrolling…no stories, Snaps, posts in the past 2 days. He wasn’t here.

“I’ll give him 5 more minutes” she muttered under her breath. “I mean shit I didn’t squeeze into this shit for nothing.”

Waiting. Fidgeting. Fuming.

3:11 am. She got up to walk out.

At the door, she took a deep sigh. Walked out. There he stood, of course. Brows furrowed, perspiring.

He looked at her. Opening his mouth, he said

(Hey, guys thank you if you made it this far. Please let me know if you enjoyed this short story entry and want the continuation. More GYN content coming soon. Love -MCJ